Saturday, June 23, 2012 at 11:24PM
I have a job where I listen to audio books for several hours a day, but for some reason I can never get through all the ones I want to listen to. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is one of those books I have always wanted to get to but never got around to it yet (I am currently on the Game Of Thrones Books). So this review is not based on the book at all. That being said, it felt like they rushed the story by at least 30 minutes. I hit the bathroom once but yet I felt like I missed a ton of stuff. I know I didn't miss much then because I used the RunPee app and didn't run to pee until they said "How many more boys will have to die before you believe me". My wife says that almost nothing happened then either. So why do I feel like I missed so damn much? The reason is that most movies are an hour and 30 minutes. There is a reason for this. Studies have shown that most Americans can't pay attention to anything for any longer. So unless the story is some well respected for decades stuff like Lord Of The Rings, they force it into as close to those times as they can. Then when the movie fails because it isn't amazing, the studio suits pat themselves on the back for not putting any more into it. The movie isn't bad really. In fact if a super extended directors edit is released I will buy it on pre-order the second they are willing to take my money. This movie is good for what it is. It just isn't as great as I hear the book is.
One of the things that is great about this movie is that although it is bloody as hell, it doesn't get in the way of the story. I hate those movies where the movie is trying so hard to be gory that they forget the story. This movie has a great balance between being bloody as hell, but without it being goofy or annoying. The acting was solid and I have zero complaints there either. The overall look of the film is perfect with it's dark doom and gloom "Film noir" vibe going. I'm glad I saw it in 2-d instead of 3-d because I don't think that would have really added anything. Other than feeling like the stoy was rushed too much, this was actually a really great movie. I think what bugs me so much is that it is so close to greatness and if the bean counters didn't force the movie makers into squishing the movie down so far this thing could have been legend. This thing could have been a masterpiece.
So should you watch this in the theater? Yes, but if you go in knowing that the story will feel a bit rushed it may not bug you as much as it bugged me.