Elvenking Red Silent Tides

click to enlargeImagine the weakest, most wimpy, ballless Power Metal ever created with the most sappy love ballds ever written. Then you have this release in a nutshell.

Seriously. I would call this gay, but it would be an insult to gay people I think of as pretty damn awesome (Rob Halford, Freddie Mercury, Bear from the band Bile, NPH, George Cloony's character on South Park). I know what you are thinking, "Calling Power Metal Gay is too easy." Although this is true,this band brings things to all new levels of wimpy. This band makes the worst 80's glam band seem like Slayer in comparison. Even if you are a fan of Hammerfall and Manowar this will probably be a little too lite and fluffy for you.

The vocalist is painfully soft and maintains a girly pitch throughout the entire release. The guitars, (although skillfully played) are lacking in any real crunch or true Metal pounding riffs.

Well produced, well played, but probably even too soft for your girlfriend that tries so very hard to get into Metal but finds it too abrasive.